have you ever felt like there's someone else inside you trying
to burst out but you can't let him/her burst out because you
wanna proof people wrong?

have you ever felt like listening to emo songs for the whole day
and actually feel better after listening to it
because the lyrics somehow soothes your soul telling
you that someone actually understands how you're feeling?

'that apple is mine! but john took a bite of it already!
it was on my table just a few seconds ago!'
so near yet so far...
have you ever felt like this before too?

have you ever felt like crying just because the sky is turning dark?

have you ever felt like crying just because it's going to rain?

have you ever tried to entertain yourself by flirting so as to
keep yourself occupied and not think of the sad part of your life?

have you ever felt that something's suppose to happen but it did not?

have you ever felt like running away from something that you treasure[like a song]?

and have you ever tried hurting yourself and in the end it feels kinda good because
it feels better than a bleeding in the heart?







i had.





and PUH-LEASE. i'm not having depression...





or am i?





SHUT UP...

i see spider webs growing on this blog.
and i feel like clearing them away right now.

sometimes its wishful thinking.
wrong.
it has always been wishful thinking.
i hate this period of time.
like a kite.
you mend its torned body.
but when you try to fly it again, it gets torn again..
again... again... and again...
no i didn't shed my tears.
but my heart bleeds.
let me tire myself out.
and i realised that i'd rather get physical pain than a heart bleed.

anyways. i've been working hard!
chemistry. a subject i detest.
yet i get full marks for my test.
and its the first time i feel that i don't deserve anything like this.
like WATDEFUK!
chemistry lehh. i fever is it.
and my GP's improving. heh.
[let me boast a lil laa. you guys get to do it all the time.
i first time know!]
been paying attention in class and studying during my supposedly slacking time.
to phrase up what i'm trying to do now, is to make time fly.
i feel like i'm screwing up my life right now.
and sometimes i feel like i'm wasting my youth.
and i hope i won't fall half way through.
and and and........[complete the rest of this paragraph]

i don't feel like i'm myself anymore.
like i'm someone else. or is it my old self?
look at the way i type and phrase things! so different!
i came to realise that for the past few weeks i've been entertaining myself by looking at cute guys.
i've never been like this before. but come to think of it.. my school's cute guys quite a number seh..
after one year in MI then i open my eyes. lols.
SIAO.


URGH! FCUK! FORGET IT! I'M SO ABNORMAL RIGHT NOW!
talk like constipation... @_(*$~_($)~)!$
i'll blog when shiying comes back. TSK! irritating.

HOLLAA!
i'm sorry that it took me so long to update you guys.
something that i didn't expect to happen ever...happened.
but i'm alright... i'm alright... =)
i won't be able to blog much nor change my template already.
i just wanna work hard these two years.
i just wanna let it past as fast as possible.
ring me up or email me if you miss me.
and don't let me lean on you.
i wanna be strong....
i don't wanna cry no more.
let the rain take it all away.
hugs and kisses to all of you.. especially those angels who gave me golden advices.
i shall keep them in heart till the day i die...
loving someone doesn't mean you have to be with that person.


i miss you i miss you.
but i don't wanna do this anymore.
let me choke on my tears and scream my heart out.
you're so poison. you're so addictive.
you know we're meant to be one.
don't come near me.
don't tempt me.
let me heal then shall we start from scratch.
i respect your decisions.
and i'll make my promises.
i'm poisoned.. so poisoned..