been b-b-busy like for soo long.
but of course fun and sweetness included.
ooh how could i ever forget. *smiles like crazy*

PI is killing me. but i love my groundbreaker.
he's so elvis presley!
ok fine. he IS elvis presley.
and so many would say 'i knew you'd pick on
someone that has got to do with music.'
i swear you're stalking me la deh...
or was that just obvious?

feeling nostalgic lately.
a different nostalgic this time. i'd smile instead.
i like it that way. bittersweet. has always been.

band practices at IJC has been helleffun!
i ESP love JBoi and selene and samuel and xiaodre!
not forgetting vickynenesh! [i love hafiz too!]
they make me smile like crazy!
like even now when i'm blogging about them i'm
like smilling.
hoohoohoo!
i'd die for them to join MI. lolle.
but dream on ..dream on..

i'm addicted to MR. BRIGHTSIDE!
been singing it almost the whole day and i swear
hanif is going deaf cos at the same time, farhana
is singing to scissors sisters today.
and there's this stupid point at the stair case
while me and hanif was walking up, he was
singing to scissors sisters also with his bloody
high pitched voice and i was eating french fries
from hilmi. then the AV manager was walking
down looking at us with that oh-my-god-who's-
singing-like-that look. then hanif was
like 'SHIYING!!!'
fcukeneheh...
i was eating la deh.
and puh-lease.. i sing better.
haks!
fine la. choke.. choke and die.
i can watch. :D

i miss i miss i miss.
but there's no time.
so what's the point of saying i miss when i can't
do anything about it?
i've been a bitch lately. hilmi knows.
i've not been a good enough buddy to my cotton.
ahhh.
tick tock tick tock.
i swear if i get a chance, i would be like qin shi
huang. just that he burns books.
i'll burn clocks.
nyahahaa!

HOLEEY!
i spent like 06981251290873401928 seconds
blogging.
*smacks forehead*
and i should care.

Labels: help me label la deh. no time.

when i die, i want my body to be burnt instead
of buried.
and then my ashes will be sent to outer space!
imagine living with the stars and planets during
the afterlife.
:D
:D
:D
:D


it's just random and dumb.
but it's my deathwish.
so stop laughing.
I'M SERIOUS OKAY?!
(i sounded like a bimbo right?)
oh shut up. don't comment.
(then again...)

Labels: my deathwish. i'mNOTabimbo.

you're just the sweetest thing! :D

Labels: not telling who

the brain is like a library.
memories, knowledge, morals, conscience and
everything else packed inside.
and if you were to get hurt or traumatised by
somethings which you couln't let go or is haunting
you, you erase them by operation.
the operation procedure to get off that particular
bubble enraptured with memories of the bad.
it would cost alot of earnings.
but it would save you from a life time of misery.
you get instant ideas on how to solve things you've
done before.
you won't forget anything or anyone- just like a
pocket dictionary.
tests and exams are worthless activities.
the brain just gives whatever you've heard before,
seen before, smelt before, felt before, taste before.
and the best part is you're able to erase them all
for good riddance whenever you want to.




and i forgot to add two words infront of this entry.
'if only'.

Labels: heart aches.

really bored now.

A.) 3 names you go by: shing/jayla/ying
B.) 3 screen names you've had: elephant? uhm.... shiyingg? i don't remember.
C.) 3 physical things you like about yourself: my eyes[if i have enough sleep], my abs[because szewei loves them], my dimples! :D
D.) 3 physical things you don’t like about yourself: my NOSE, my fingernails, ahem..
E.) 3 things that scare you: loneliness, roaches, my hair
F.) 3 of your everyday essentials: food, music, friends
G.) 3 of your favorite musical artists as of now: saosin, sixpence none the richer, emery
H.) 3 of your favorite songs: kiss me, i can tell, may angels lead you in
I.) 3 things you want in a relationship: trust, happiness and little surprises
J.) 3 physical things that appeal to you in the opposite sex: eyes, smile, arms? heah.
K.) 3 of your favorite hobbies: stoning[really..], play music, sports.
L.) 3 things you want really badly now: TIME!, a hug, rest
M.) 3 careers you are considering/have considered: astrophysicist[almost not possible], a fashion designer[yeah babeh!], uhm.... psychologist?[i think i'll totally drive ppl nuts]
N.) 3 places you want to go on vacation: rome, hongkong, france
O.) 3 things you want to do before you die: make sure i gave mum and dad a happy life, witness a miracle, fly to outerspace and say hi to all the stars!
P.) 3 ways that you are stereotypically a boy: how much i eat, how i sit, how much i wanna have muscles.
Q.) 3 ways that you are stereotypically a girl: i bitch, i'm neat, i shop!ALOT!
R.) 3 things you love: family, friends, myself

i'm so gay!!!
i'm so gay!!!
he makes me smile so easily like "SNAP!"
just like that!
he's like )@(*#&-10237_)(@#_190231023.
and then! and then! @(#*&!_(*)#$!*#
and then! and then! @*!&~_!(*)@$&_1
and yesterday he @#*&!_)@#!_()@#*!
and then! and then! _!(@*#)_!*(#
he's so cute! he's so sweet to me!
he puts the cherry on top of my sunny day!



tickled by you to wake up from a dream is sucha sweet feeling.

Labels: just a friend. simple sweet. plain happiness with toppings.

it's all in the mind- as people always say.

when i was young, i will have this sudden
thought in my mind saying 'who am i? do i really
belong here?' and i will freak myself out totally
and end up bugging my mum the whole night
asking things like 'was i adopted?' and
all those stupid questions that will really make
her beg me to stop.

one day i was talking to sunshine about it
and she felt the same kinda weird feeling too.
like sometimes when you're alone, you'll feel that
everyone around you is fake or maybe their robots
and someone up there is actually making a life story
of you cos you're the only real living thing around.
that feeling is really scary.
bestie, let's stop scaring ourselves pls.
but come to think of it.
people can get really fake.
they talk about how bitchy and selfish you are
to your friends and sometimes they twist and
make up their own stories and then in front of
you, they act like you're his/her bestfriend.
and the worst part of it is that sometimes, both
are your friends and you don't know what to
do about it.
and i've came to a conclusion that if ever that
happens, i'm gonna shut up and leave everyone.
this is too much for me to take.
it's really sad to know that people like this still
exists and sometimes i can really pity myself.
it's not like i'm acting like an angel or smth.
but think.
yes, i think they are fcukers.
yet i'll still pity them in one way or another,
cos it might be because of a really bad impact on
them that causes them to be an asshole, or maybe
it's just because their just plain spoilt.
and while blogging this entry, i feel so weird.
there's this sudden gush of feeling that wants to
burst out screaming and yet there's another half
of it that cries in silence.

just a random entry.
i know i lack sleep.
but i'm pretty sure that what i say makes sense
and you know what i'm talking about. :D

Labels: feelings. friends. back-fcuking-stabbers.

all these shit just had to happen to me.
fcuk.
why me?
what, my life a movie or something?
i'm tired.
abso-fcuking-lutely tired.

sometimes people just don't appreciate.
they seem to be walking advertisements on
how to lie.
and i'm the signboard that goes 'stop!'
but no one listens till shit happens on they
themselves.
do i look like i'm trying to get you into trouble?
like who am i trying to kid?
i gain nuts you bodoh.
i'm so busy trying to solve others' problems
that i totally forgot about mine.
i don't really care.
and you.
i'm tired tired tired of entertaining you.
can i stop already?
i've been hinting you that i really dislike you
but you just don't get it.
you're rich you're fit .
you've got everything.
but i'm just not someone who wants a tai tai life
or whatever perfect life you've planned for your
future whoever you wanna be with.
you're a MAN.
don't whine to a GIRL like me who's 4 years
younger than you.
it's just so gay that i get goosebumps each and
everytime you do it.
and i swear that one day my mao on my hands
and legs will just fall off.
just go find someone on the streets .
they'll be more than happy to be your girlfriend.
and then you both can spend and rot and die
together.
i seriously don't care about whoever out there
feels right now cos i feel so unappreciated.
i feel so disappointed.
and this is the best i can get to take revenge.
it's to rant over here.
and i have no one to blame actually.
only myself.
i care too much.

AH!
i need a hug so much now.

Labels: cracked

sometimes it's nice to make people smile...

just like that... :D

HOLLA!
i'm back[as in get used to] to the single life!
and i've never felt better for these 3 months.
rejected enough.
ached enough.
:D

hoah yeah!
and i totally love the p-p-people around me!
LOVE mother simee kenny gengky jannanah aaron gowri hanif yuren twin szeman arisa misato saffy farhana sweix grace rachel wan eddie ben junhao samuel amanda-pap hilmi fulin farah syarfa kau huimin liyana che-cheryl daliah koon marcus lianwei hebin ershah ronald marvin hafiz teckwee cousin vic etc.
these are the people who really woke me up from depression.
and even though a few in those names are outta my life,
they'll be remembered like.. FOREVER!
be thankful be thankful.
and i'm totally feeling blessed right now cos i know
that there are alot who actually care for me. :D
who needs a boyfriend anyway?
heahh.

went to ijc for band yesterday.
percussion section!
love them much!
and basketball ytd with the clique and the others
was super fun please!
was laughing almost throughout the whole game.
and misato was so funny that i nearly pee-ed in
my pants while laughing.
and not to worry gengky... she's to'ally fine. :D

i'm feeling so happy nowadays that i forgot
what emo is.

should i rebond and cut my hair short?
like shoulder length short?
cos i kinda feel tired of being myself.
long hair for like what.. 5 years?
i wanna FEEL different.
i wanna BE different.

Labels: laughing, love, singlehood

simplicity would do.

music and lyrics
nails
way back into love
ferrero rocher
dream
time of your life
magic tricks
poker
ballroom dancing
star-gazing
guitars
hongkong food
stomp the yard
long rides
birthdays
and on it goes...
period


sometimes you think he's special.
yeah.
now i really think he's special.
eSPECIALly AT LYING.
you could have done something about it.
you could have fcuking told me the truth.
ahh....
i feel like shit.
and half of of it is because i'm having your share
of it while you're happily back together with her.
well you should be the one feeling this, not me.
and i can't figure out why i'm not angry.
blame it on me i guess.




and back to the you i still do miss.

those memories are haunting me.
again and again and again.
it all happened so fast.
and i guess now it's the end of this beautiful chapter.
i thank you.



there aren't words good enough to exactly describe how
i feel.
i just know i do, and i can feel.
all these emotions are too much for me to handle and at
the same time, it's just enough to make me grow.
the songs of us just keeps repeating in my head.
it's like a bitter sweet lullaby that can either make me
smile or tear while those memories flash past my mind.
i still can't figure out how you did that magic, but i'm
pretty sure i fell for it.
as long as you're happy.
as long as you're happy...

Labels: a new chapter begins. and i hope you'll be part of it again.