the year is about to end and something's not
quite done yet.



:)
then i realised..
a wishlist! and also, new year resolutions! hahoooo~~


one. let go

two. get into laselle/RDI/nafa by 2008

three. (still)don't pluck thumb skin

four. higher expectations for own percussion skills

five. a sewing machine

six. clothes! dresses, tops, bottoms, accessories,
contacts, scarfs, undies, bags.... etc. etc...

seven. tell you what. money.... then i go get them myself.

eight. catch up with ol' mates.

nine. charlene and jayla's online shop. :D

ten. if i have the time, a new portfolio

eleven. make smiles

twelve. go to another country to stargaze. (no, not
malaysia. not anywhere near here i hope)

thirteen. own room!

fourteen. an electric guit in green and cream.

fifteen. learn the flute

sixteen. a rock concert with sunshine

seventeen. dream of elvis as my boyfriend

eighteen. driving license!

nineteen. believe in destiny

twenty. make a dress by march

twenty-one. no more laziness

twenty-two. go fishing

twenty-three. love myself

... that's all for now i guess.


well well, i wish you guys all the best for the
coming new year.
drain out the bad and start fresh!
believe me, life is so much worthwhile without
the hate.




to helmizar: NOwe NOwe!
lolle.

hello, hello, helllll low!
season greetings to you, you, and you
what a merry christmas i had.
well not as exciting as the previous years, but
just enough to make me feel blessed.
hugs and kisses to all and may your wishes
all come true.

updates.


millennia institute symphonic band's performance
was quite a blast.
i had to admit that i dare not invite anyone to come
for it due to the last minute plans, thinking it
would be horrible.
BUT! it turned out just fine.
thanks for twin, chkchk!, lian er, and junhao's support!
thanks to viknesh for the lovely rose(it's already
dead btw.) heh.
and a big thank you for this concert,
i got to know such beautiful souls.



the percussion section!
pohyih, meiling, fion, chinsiang, helmizar, hendra,
me and tzetze.
let's ignore yin whee at the back. HAHA!
i love her btw!


the cute people.

and since someone dedicated smth for me on his blog,
i shall do back the same!


especially to chinsiang
hahas. yes. finally. you got your dedication!
touched right? wanna cry right?
neh mind ah.. don't cry ah.
hahas. i miss your way of talking, really.
first impression of you was you're an ahbeng.
but a quiet ahbeng.
little did i know that you're sucha thick skinned
idiot who likes to make fun of me! aye!
thanks uh!
and seriously, thanks.
thanks for being there when i needed comfort and
when i don't feel belonged.
it was unexpected from you when i didn't even
know you well, but yeah! you're there! hah.
sorry for the tears, and i shall talk to you on msn next.
lolle.
neh mind ah.. don't cry ah. lolle!



sometime last week, i met up with tuankiak
and leong for lunch at vivo.
and leong is wearing PINK!
AYE TZE TZE! LEONG WORE PINK!
AHAHAHAHA!
okay not funny.
but i still think it is!!!
cos you know what's funny to them?
MY NOSE!
freaking hell.
those two retards can spend a whole 15 minutes
laughing at my nose!
and leong!
he even went to the extent of drawing my nose out!
on tissue paper leh!
tsk!
oh! we took a picture!
but kiak's face was a quarter not in it.
so i cut off leong's one as well.


ahh. perfect!
that's for laughing at my nose.HA!
and on christmas, leong called me shiying the
red nose clown.
...
*crickets cricking*





shall blog about kimseng when i have the pictures.



i don't know why my brain works this way,
but i had this funny idea.
you see those christmas decorations at orchard road
and outside shopping centres?
aren't they just beautiful?
i'll feel like glowing with those colourful lights.
so warm, so filled with joy and life.
and if only i could eat them.
eating lights!
let them glow in you, not for you.




lolle. macam commercial.

Labels: eating lights

get me a box to put myself in.
throw in paper cut stars and glitters,
a radio playing non-stop of ol' love tunes,
a photo of my family,
the memories of childhood,
the scars from yesterday,
wearing a self designed dress and
dance all day,
imagining you, and me.

you,
with me.


eight more days.
be gone from my memory.
please.

we were sitting at the table reading.
no topics to talk about.
or maybe what in mind wouldn't be a good
one to start off with.
an awkward silence.
the food came.
i grabbed the chopsticks and started nibbling
on rice.
the sudden urge of crying.
something is wrong.
it's supposed to be filled with warmth, with
laughter, with comfort.
i don't feel belonged.
it seems like a burden for a reunion like this.
reunions we don't normally do.
not even at home.
why is it so?
i hate the ego.
i hate the silence.
i hate the grudge.
but never will i want to or will ever hate you all.
in fact, i love you all.
things just don't work.

i love the walk in the park.
for a moment, i feel like a child again.

i dare not wish much, just the presence will do.
stay with me.

happy birthday dad.
i love you.



kimseng wind symphony in concert XII.
23rd december 2007
5pm
NAFA auditorium

do quickly sms me for tickets if you want to go.
tickets running out! : D

i'm not worth the time.
i'm not even worth that few dollars to be earned
in a day.
no i cannot feel the support.
not even from the few people whom i love the
most and would even die for.
there's no more point.
fcuk.

this year has been a whole lot of goodbyes.
and it always happens just when i get to know
people better.
and it had to be you, and you, and you, ....
i hate to say goodbye.
and i won't.
hello you.
welcome to my life.

the my chemical romance concert was AWE!SOME!
it's been quite a while since i had such high
great time and the best thing is that i went with arisa!
my love love love love love love~~
:)
the feeling of everyone singing together can't
be described.
too good a feeling.
95 bucks was all to gain! weehohoo!
and and and!
i'm sooo in love with gerard way!
he's the prettiest boy ever..ever....e..e...
aww... who missed it? lolle.
weeheehhohoooo..
but there this stupid thing which happened
before the concert.
some crazies blew balloons and everyone got
excited so they started to push it up whenever it
came their way.
then soon, a few others from different areas
started blowing balloons too!
look carefully.

why do they have balloons and we don't?
until someone shouted.
'it's condom laa!'

DAMN FUNNY!

but condoms makes nice balloons. :)










WE LOVE MCR!



one of my favourites, helena.



almost teared when singing. lolle.

yuck! i hate shiying!
she's so straight forward with how she feels about
people when she dislikes them!
she's so frank!
she's so not hypocrytical!
she doesn't spare a thought for how people feel
when they actually offended her and her friends!
why is shiying not like me?
i'm so perfect! i'm not straight forward and i don't
like to settle things even when people gives me
a chance which shiying did.
i'm all grown up!
i feel so great cos i'm standing up for my friends
for not knowing what she has gone through!
i'm tagging her tagboard and trying to offend and
screw her life!
i feel so mighty and strong for all the wrong reasons!
i'm screwing up shiying's life! WOOHOO!
SHIOK AR!!!
this is so cool!
i'm caring about someone who sucks!
i shall continue tagging and tagging until she
shuts down her blog! WOOHOO!



YOU WISH.


hello to you _____(fill in your name. lolle).
please contact me. i'm sure you have my number
since you're so interested in me.
i pledge to not scold vulgarities at you or be rude,
but to settle whatever displeasures you have
about me.
i believe it is more appropriate and professional
to settle it face to face.
if your name should not be revealed to public,
it won't. but at least to me.
i'm giving in and it's my final resort since you're
dragging my friend in.
it's up to your conscience whether to compromise.
yours truly and sincerely, CHIN SHIYING

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just read a few entries posted by the younger
me when i first started blogger.
and hell yeah!

it sucked.
lolle.

urk..
life's sucking every single bit of energy out of me.
i need sleep badly.
but then again,
i don't want to regret in future.

someone just tagged at my tagboard saying to
grow up.
well i'm not directly pointing at you, god knows
who you are... uh.. mister.. miss... it.. gay or lesbian.
oh heck that.
it got me thinking. yeah again,
that why do people like to say grow up when they think
that someone they are against has done something
that's not happening in their lives at all, or anymore?
or maybe they think its immature.
but they might have not experienced these
circumstances themselves.
they might actually react the same way when
they are put to face the same thing.
well i might think that people poking their noses
into the life of someone who doesn't even know who
the heck they are are not grown up.
i think you have not grown up, you too think that
i have not grown up.
so why not we care about ourselves and just...
GROW UP?!
what's the difference between the two?
and oh hell.. the best thing is that,
we don't even know who each other
are deep in heart.
(well that's just an example. no offence.
if offended, call police.)

so, why?
why grow up?
one thing is, everyone is growing every single day.
so what makes those grow-up-tellers think that
we are controlling our growth?
well unless its due to malnutrition.
BUT its still beyond our control physically.
and most importantly, our minds learn new things
everyday.
it doesn't have to be facts or fiction, it just has to
be who we are and what we want and do not want
even the dumbest thoughts, like how to suicide.
then again, its how far we've come which brought
us to decisions.
well there must be reasons for people doing the
wildest stuffs, some of such would be attention
and .. what they deem as true love. no?
another thing is although we go to school everyday
and we learn the same things and tie the same
ponytail, or maybe wear the same brand of underwear,
it doesn't mean that eg. when you fall in love, i too,
fall in love.
isn't it ridiculous to have everyone falling in love
at the same time just because they must 'grow up'?
think a little further... if every one were to get
pregnant at the same time..
FWOO!
or maybe fart at the same time.
HAHA! okay no funny matter. we would have
suffocated to death. end of the world i say.
another example,
some people can be REAL REAL protective
over their boyfriends and you both are not even
allowed to talk.
and you think -why is she so ridiculous!
but continue thinking...
she might not be as fortunate as you are,
or a different growing environment.
everyone learns things at a different time.
and some might not learn it at all.
like mom and dad.
they do not know how exactly we are feeling
all the time cos of the generation gap.
do you call them to grow up?
(if yes, you're sucha beast)
we might grow old or even to their graves to not
even know that what they want for us is always
what they deemed as the best.
grown up? or guilty?

there must be a reason for saying those
two words.
well, i've grown, but haven't stopped.
how different is everyone else?
or should i say how different is the majority if
including the mentally paralysed?


just another thought.

Labels: growing up

you think that i do not know.
but i know it all.
they didn't know because you lied to them.
so, they dislike me because they do not know
you're this sorta crap.
but there are also things which you do not
know that are happening right behind you
which is again, oh..toobad.
and then i thought when a few more knows about
your oogleh side, you'll be so sorry and then i will
forgive you like how i thought you should be.
BUT NO...
you're still like 'oh! i'm so innocent! she caused me
to behave this way! i wanted her to know how bad
it feels to BLAH BLAH BLAH..'
(hanah hanah... say the same lie so many times..
not sian meh? bomb a better one luh...)
you start to put the blame on me
when its so obvious that its YOU, the
abso-fcuking-lutely big fat liar, who's being totally
juvenile and fake.
how nice a life you lead.
i applaud.
you'll go down one day i promise.
oh.
and no. i won't be the one bringing you down.
you're your own killer.

i'm always being used by people. and why is it so?
if i were your mother....YOU! WATCH! OUT!

i finally understood why brother(keathwee) is always telling me
to open my eyes wider when getting to know people.
and i never believed such low-life exists until i
experienced it myself this time.
but no that big an impact.
the feelings just weren't there.
oops, sorry. wrong number.
you'll always be the best ever underdog in my heart.
nuff for you to handle?






kids nowadays.
holiday, nothing to do, GET A JOB!
put what thick make up?!
to look old and contaminate your skin?!
buy what branded good?!
smoke what pi gu?!
talk what crap on my tagboard?!
ask your mother come find me luh bunch of
immature delinques!

woah.. ahlian leh. scared right?


don't play luh!


(pardon me for this post's language.
not! thinking!)