everyone gets to experience the little big
different things in life.
i'm sort of a pessimistic person.
i worry. i panic. i fear. alot.
i'm scared to lose what i have.
i'm scared to accept what is given.
and that is why i got into this state when i get
to no where. cos i spent most of my time
entertaining myself rather than reaching for life.

hafiz says 'shiying. your life is such a tragedy.'
and i would say 'shut up bitch!'
now i think likewise.

i've seen friends losing to themselves struggling
to get back on track.
i tried helping.
i even thought i was clever to offer to pay for
one particular friend's school fees.
naive.
i knew how it felt like.
and now i feel like.

i feel like a lost star in the black universe.
i'm worrying about what i'd become,
what i'd have to go through.
there's just too much to actually sum up how
i feel right now.
i'm sorry mum and dad.
to kor too.

the 'if i don't get promoted' choice(s).
1. go straight to fashion school.
2. retain in MI

the 'if i get promoted' choice(s).
1.struggle one whole year for A's.
this is unlikely to happen.

urk!
give me a break!
please save me flash.

Labels: my turn.